Sicko and Nested Russian Dolls

Higher language function and interpretation is a good thing not so much. We take what impacts us, sound, heat, light, and touch and turn it into something that "makes sense." Then we decide how we relate to that "sense." It is an interpreted reality, a shorthand version of what our senses collected. We pay attention to very little of it because our senses deluge us constantly with input; not sense, but raw input. That sensory data gets integrated with all the patterns that we have expeirienced and we from that subtractive and it-looks-like process we construct our reality. Unfortunately that makes it pretty easy to control me. All you have to do is twang any one of my interior easy buttons and I'm off. Why is it so easy to fool me? Why is it so easy to fool you?

Which brings me to life themes. I feel that we are all a series of nested beliefs some more important than others, but each nested into the larger one above and that all of them are our current "Life Theme." We slowly change that by taking in new information, emotions, hurt and joy, but the change to the life theme is very slow. This probably keeps us from quitting our jobs and leaving our mates several times per day. From a social evolutionary point of view, slow is good, change should be slow. More on this later in a later post.

But first, what is that total construct, the Life Theme? I think we have many roles, and each of them is defined by our agreement with or opposition to the central theme. For instance, I'm not married now, and I don't plan on every being again. If I'm sitting with other bachelors, and survivors of their own divorce wars, I will generally define myself in that group, and my role within that group, in agreement with the basic idea that marriage is a prison. So for that nested Russian doll, for that bit of my life or personality, I play an agreement role. What that agreement costs - my next relationship - a tendency not to want a deep relationship because of loss of personal freedom - in others words my agreements with ideas influences my future behavior. It also defines me and allows me to superficially know who I am.

I have a role at work, another personality fragment that is in opposition to the administration of the work environment because I believe it is not really trying to provide what it purports to provide (and paints as a mission statement on the walls) to the patient. I am radical in that place in words as I am not easily controlled by work (I have no debt and I can do other things - I do not cling to the job, thus fear of job loss is not an overwhelming concern). So I define myself as part clown, rebel, smart, and ultimately concerned that I make people, the customers, feel better when I work. That encoding of my heat, light, sound and touch as a good worker in a fraudulent environment is that Russian doll, that life theme that presents a fragment of me to my coworkers. They thus have a short hand model of me to respond to without much thought.

But there are much larger Russian dolls that these smaller themes nest in. I have loved my country and define myself as a real patriot in that place, and I filter all information based on that belief. Oh I have been more than a cynic, downright seditious in fact, but I have not looked at the data stream very closely, instead I have thought, all the bad things about politics and unfair and unloving treatment of the common class are exceptions, and probably my fault in part for being lazy and not paying more attention to politics. But I have still clung to the belief that America is great and free and the media is a watch dog snapping at the heals of self absorbed politicians, exposing them to us as faithful guardians of the First Amendment should and must. I have thought that America just needs a little, um, tweaking.

BUT No. No. IN the last five years I have begun looking at every part of this particular life theme of mine - e big Russian Doll for me, called the "world in which I live" my life. Everything began to fall apart when I looked closely at any part of it. Nothing is as it should be, and it leaves me speechless that I could have had so little real information in the last twenty years, and that I persisted in believing that I was in a democracy that the rest of the world aspired to. I believed that really the rest of the worlds peoples would give anything to have the quality of life that I enjoy.

This week was typical, and extraordinary. I watched Sicko by Michael Moore. Stop reading this right now and go watch it. I'll wait.

Ok, you're back. What I have learned in the last five years is that everything we are told by the news media and even by the authors of books and magazines and commercials is a lie. Of the various forms of lies it is the most insidious, the most foul. It is the lie we ought not tell to the child inside of us. We are told to love our country, that we live in the best place on earth, that hard work is rewarded, that anybody can become important here through hard work, not by birth class, that we are a melting pot of the best of all the world, that we are the alloyed stell of imcomparable strength that comes from all people added to the struture, and that if we work hard, we will find love, happiness, and success in a special place, called the United States of America.

If you have just watched Sicko, you are feeling what I have been feeling for five years. No. No. No. We are not a democracy, we are a capitalist machine. We are three classes, the duped sheeple who think they are the middle class, the very very rich (2 percent) and the poor and disenfranchised. We are a managed workforce and consuming machine for capitalism so that the parasitic 2 percent can continue to feed off of your blood, sweat and hopes. In return for the massive debt that we are continually sold, we get drugs, high blood pressure, increasing obesity, and stimulated to go out and buy more and take on more debt - as debt is the creation of actual money that feeds that upper 2 percent. Debt is also the chains that bind us to jobs that we would not accept, and debt is the root of the fear that makes you shiver when you think about being fired, not getting paid anymore, getting divorced, not finding your love - all of these have as their basis the underlying assumption that the debt you carry will cause you to die, shamefully, publically, if you stop.

Sicko made me cry for the death of a dream that I wanted to believe in. I wanted us to be the white hats. Yet all I find is that my country lies to me, will say anything to me like a cheap whore sucking my cock in an alley just to get me to come, because my cum is the debt that allows the continous enriching of that top 2 percent. This whore is more than willing to suck the life out of me telling me how good and handsome I am while she drains the life from me and my country and my land Fuck you capitalism. Fuck you to death. More later after you've had time to see the movie. Crack yourself open - open your eyes, don't be afraid to look.